Dear Diary,
Since then my heart has been numb forever. I became harsh, never knew
how to care. Became ignorant and cold. I couldn’t soften up myself for anyone. I tried, yes I tried but he took it away from me. He took away the sun that was shining to my happy life and cast over a thunder storm over my world. Every day I wake up to the cold numbness in my body. I spend the whole day living in an unknown planet where I don’t know to differentiate between right and wrong. At night I dream of the scary places I’m in, trying to find a way to get out. I feel as my days are over. Feel like I’m living someone else’s life sometimes. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore or why I am doing it. My mind is about to explode to something far worse than a nuclear bomb. Every day I force myself to be someone I’m not as if there’s a spirit inside controlling me. What has happened to me? I cannot find the keys to the doors where I shut out the rest of the world behind. I’m living in my own world of misery, pain and agony where no one else except me hears the cries within. And I’m falling again into the same old shit which I thought I cleaned off some time ago.
But this time, I’m damn sure of what I’m getting into.
Just not sure if I can ever get out of it.
