i am scared
of loosing this
loosing everythin i got
so i’l keep it to myself
even if it hurts
i wont ask u again
i wont force u
im waiting..
it hurts so deep
sometimes its hard to believe
i keep thinking its all me
but then i realize
there are two
im hoping
for this love we have
im hoping
for the future we promised
im hoping
for how we are trying
waiting for the day..
counting the minutes..
for u to tell me
that ure mine
only
mine…

PS: I love u more and more everyday…

19:30pm

It’s like a gigantic wave. When it comes, it spreads all the foam everywhere it surrounds. It takes everything. Covers them all.Then hits the barrier of rocks really hard….But the foam doesn’t stay visible on the waters for long. It slowly fades away and then its all gone…

thats my life… that’s what you did to me…and now…

but it did…

It did happen..

YOU CAME BACK!!!

I just can’t wipe of this smile off my face.. I don’t even wanna.. even if i look dumb in it!

You are gone.. just like that?
What were all those for? Where did all the things you told me go?

I know you wont probably see this or read this cuz you wont even care to open this. But I have one more thing to say..
I gave u every single thing but u just threw it away. But I’ll be waiting. Miss you. Loving you and regretting it every single day of my life.
But I know that I wont hear from you again. You have changed. But if i don’t keep that little bit of hope going on, then I don’t have any reason to go through the rest of my fucking life. So even if its a false hope i’ll keep to it. I’l wait and move on with my life. Hoping you would be back.. Which is not gonna happen…

It’s one mistake you make that shape’s your future.
It’s one mistake you make that makes you loose everything you had.
It’s one mistake you make that keeps you in tears for the rest of your  life.
It’s just one mistake I made which I regret but can’t take it back…

Cuz I hurt him much more than I imagined.. It’s unforgivable…

I lost everything I ever had in my life.. I lost my reason to wake up everyday, to smile and look forward to…

And god knows how much I regret it every single day since it happened… How I have learned from that mistake and going on every single day without repeating the mistake…

But I’m lost.. I would never be forgiven.. And that’s the only thing I want.. Which I doubt he would ever give me…

ARRRGHH!

God knows.. god knows how much I love him…and what I would give to win back his love and trust…

I’m going crazy here…argh..

let love takes its course….. lets see how things go…
i can’t decide.. i’ve always made bad decisions.. but i’ll stick to what i’ve chosen now..

and let it takes its course…

PS: I love you too..

i’ll wait..

i will…

thanks.. you really made me smile =)

it felt so so good to hear ur voice again…

i can’t wipe this grin off my face

ooh how much i love you!!!…….

I shouldn’t have..  I just shouldn’t… have blocked u out…. forced u out…….

Do i regret it? YES…
do u really love her the way they say you do?
I don’t wanna call you.. I don’t wanna force u… but do u still have anything for me? Tell me…
I just want one minute from your time.. For you to tell me the truth what you want, to hear from you to my face.

I’ve tried.. Its gona be a month I haven’t disturbed you…….But I CANT I just CANT move on..
After all u did.. I still love you…

Even if u call me a bitch.. a slut.. shout at me.. made me cry…
This is not gona fade away… I’m an addict. My addiction is you. I need my fix but I’m not gona get it.. I want but I can’t…

DAMMIT!

Life’s turning out just like an episode of one tree hill.

I am Peyton Sawyer but in this situation I wanna be Brooke. I want her to have the happiness. But I don’t want her to bey Peyton either. Its ok. I don’t regret the fact that I said ‘No’. I can’t bring myself to say the ‘Yes’ anymore. Life’s changed for me. 2 months and counting now. I still can’t move on. Why the hell can’t I?

I’m sick… decaying without dying.

ARGH!

People say it’s hard to live a single life but it seems to turn out well for me. Atleast I hope it would. I believe that’s because no one actually knows I’m single. But I guess the secrets out now.

But the sad part is when u get damn lonely at night and stay up everynight thinking about how it was when it began, the happy joyous moments it makes u regret ur life by the second and u start up on bad habits u left sometime ago. Sometimes you don’t actually care if they would kill you, you just do it out of desperation.

And the worst part is when u crave for that single person, you just can’t hold off that feeling u tried to lock up and find the hidden piece of plastic and connect it to the device and press those 7 numbers and wait for the beeps to end.

But the question is, what are you gonna say? I seriously don’t know.